Title: Need
Author: IrishDachsie

Pairing: Grissom/Sara

Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: The author does not own CSI. No profit is being made from this story.

He awoke with her words echoing through his head.

It’s…confusing.

He sighed and spoke softly to no one in particular. "Yes, it is"

Thoughts kept running through his head. He knew he should’ve told her. That would’ve been the perfect time, but for once in his life he couldn’t think fast enough.

"Dammit, Gil…you idiot, you’re going to lose her again!" He looked around quickly, then realized it was himself who had just spoken those words. He let out a heavy sigh and made his way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

He glanced at the clock, which read 8:32pm. He thought to himself that he needed to get in the shower, he had to be at work soon. Then it hit him…this was his night off. "Great. No work. No Sara."

Looking at the pot of coffee that had finished brewing, he shook his head and reached for the bottle of wine and a glass. Picking his crossword puzzle up, he headed back to the living room.

Quickly finishing the puzzle, he set it down on the coffee table and opened the wine, pouring himself a glass. Reaching for the stereo remote, he suddenly decided he didn’t want to listen to music. He didn’t want to watch television. He didn’t want to do another puzzle. He wanted to see Sara. He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her…

"What the hell am I going to do?"

He picked up the phone. "What are you going to say? ‘Hey, Sara, what’s up?’"

Sighing, he began to put the phone back down when it suddenly rang, startling him.

"Grissom."

"Hi."

He instantly recognized the voice. "Hey, Sara, what’s up?"

Shaking his head, he couldn’t believe he had just said that.

"We are just friends, you know."

"Huh?"

"Hank and I…we’re just friends."

A smile crept across his face. "Just movies and dinner, huh?"

"Yeah…he doesn’t understand me."

His smile widened.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that. You have a good night off."

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"It is confusing, isn’t it?"

He heard her sigh on the other end. "Very. I’ll talk to you later."

Hearing the click of the disconnection, he slowly put the phone down.

Sitting back down on the couch, he finished his glass of wine. "I guess I could take a shower."

~~~~~~~~

Turning the water in the shower on, he turned to the mirror over the sink. Looking into his own eyes, he wondered if she felt the way he did. He wondered if she could see his thoughts in his eyes.

Surely she can, she’s an investigator. But what if she doesn’t care enough to investigate me?

Slowly he headed to the shower, consumed in his thoughts of Sara.

Letting the hot water flow over his tired muscles, he could think of nothing other than her.

Why did she call just to tell me that she and Hank are only friends?

With the thoughts going through his head, he didn’t hear the phone ring. The machine took the call instead.

"Grissom. Leave a message."

She smiled. That was so Grissom, short and to the point. She wished that he could just get to the point where she was concerned.

"Um...hey, it’s me again. I was just wondering if you might…well…if you’d be interested in…um…do you even eat?"

Hanging the phone up, she couldn’t believe what a stupid message she had just left on his machine.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting out the shower, he felt better. The tension in his shoulders had been released. But, still he couldn’t get her out of his head. Towelling his hair dry, he heard something. He cocked his head to one side, trying to figure out what it was.

"Answering machine…" It had an irritating beep on it that was unmistakable.

Throwing on a pair of boxers, he walked into the living room and hit the button.

He couldn’t control his smile when he heard her voice and recognized the nervousness in her tone.

"...do you even eat?"

He chuckled at that question and picked up the phone.

"Sidle."

"Of course I eat."

"Um…well…."

"Sara?"

"Huh?"

"Would you like to meet me for coffee later? Maybe get a bite to eat?"

He waited for what seemed like an eternity for her answer.

"Okay. Around 2:30?"

"Sounds good to me. Meet you at the diner?"

"Sure."

"Okay, I’ll see you then…and Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful tonight."

Still holding the phone, completely aware that he had already hung up, she couldn’t believe the conversation that had just taken place. Lowering her phone to snap it back into place on her belt, Nick walked through the door.

"Hey Sara, you up for pizza tonight?"

Looking at him, and Warrick who had just followed him in, she shook her head with a smile. "No, I’m having dinner with a friend in a little while…thanks though."

Walking past the both of them, Nick looked at Warrick and shrugged his shoulders. "Weird…."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He glanced down nervously at his watch. 2:27am…she’ll be here any minute.

He saw the familiar headlights and stepped out of the Tahoe. She pulled up beside him and opened the car door.

"Hi."

"Hi, Grissom."

Walking up to the door, he quickly jumped in front of her to open the door to the diner. Following her in, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she truly was.

Sitting down at their table, he looked into her eyes. Smiling, he said "Good!"

"Huh?"

"You’re happy to be here."

She smiled back at him, not quite knowing what to say, and the waitress walked up.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Coffee" they both spoke simultaneously, not taking their eyes off of each other.

They talked continuously. About anything, everything, except for what was really on their minds. He wanted to tell her, knew he needed to tell her, but fear kept him from it.

Instead, he told her a joke. Gruesome, but hilarious. Sara laughed until she cried.

As she caught her breath, he heard it. "God, I love you!"

Seeing the confused and stunned look on his face, she realized what she had done.

"Grissom, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…oh damn…" Obviously embarrassed, she got up and started walking to the door.

Grissom, still sitting quietly and stunned into speechlessness, watched her. Getting up quickly, he threw a $10 bill on the table and ran out the door. He caught up to her at the car.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to work."

"We didn’t get anything to eat, how will you know that I do eat?" He smiled at her, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Grissom…I’m sorry about that."

"About what?"

"What I said in there."

"Why?"

"You didn’t want to hear that…I saw the expression on your face."

"What expression?"

"The one you have now…stunned, confused, scared…"

"Sara…"

She got in the car and started it up. Hearing a knock at the window, she looked up and saw his beautiful eyes shining at her. Bringing his hands up to where she can see them, he quickly signed the words he had wanted to say to her for so long. Years, even.

Reading her eyes and face, he remembered that she wasn’t as fluent in sign language as he was. Slowing down, he signed again. He saw faint recognition in her eyes and a smile playing at her lips. She hit the button to lower the window.

"Grissom…"

He reached in, gently caressing her cheek. Watching her eyes, he felt her skin flush beneath the tender touch of his hand. He leaned inside the window, maintaining his eye contact with her. He felt his heart begin to race as she reached up and placed her hand on the side of his neck.

"Apparently, anger isn’t the only thing that makes your pulse rise."

"No, it’s not…" Licking his lips, he moved closer…brushing his lips across hers. "Has it been busy tonight?"

Startled by his question, she gently shook her head. "No. Pretty quiet, actually."

"Wanna call Catherine and ask her for the rest of the night off?"

"Wha—", her question was cut off by his mouth covering hers.

The gentle kiss from before replaced by a more hungry assault. The hand on his neck quickly moved to the back of his head, trying to pull him closer.

Suddenly, she was angry with herself…for shutting the car door. She wanted to feel him closer to her. He finally broke the kiss and tilted his head.

"I’ll ask again…wanna call Catherine and ask her for the rest of the night off?"

Breathlessly, she answered him "Yes."

He opened the car door, hit the button to roll the window back up, reached over and turned the car off…pocketing the keys. Taking her hand, he led her back to his Tahoe. He was playing with her hair as he was driving when she remembered that she needed to make a call.

"Willows."

"Hi Cat, it’s Sara."

"Hey, where are you?"

"Well, I had coffee with an old friend…" Grissom raised an eyebrow at her. "And I had a migraine start." It was everything he could do to keep his laughter in check. "He’s taking me home now…is that okay?"

"Sure, you get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay…thanks Cat."

Grissom looked over at her, the amusement clearly on his face. "A migraine?"

"First thing I could think of…" She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Grissom?"

"Hm?"

"When we get to your house, will you show me your bug collection?"

He couldn’t help but laugh and she joined in with him. Turning into his parking lot, he found his space and shut the engine off.

Leaning over to kiss her, he looked into her eyes. He saw apprehension in those beautiful brown eyes. "Sara? I do love you."

Gazing back into his eyes, reading the truth he had just spoken. "I know, now…and I love you."

"Um…Sara, we don’t have to do anything. That’s not why I brought you here. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you in my arms. Whether that’s holding you on the couch while we watch tv, or holding you while we sleep. I just need to be with you."

She smiled back at him. "Wow!"

"What?"

"When you open up, you really open up, don’t you?"

"Sometimes." He grinned lightly. "You wanna come in?"

"Yes."

Walking up to the door, she felt many different emotions…but she knew she loved this man. For years she had loved him, all the while thinking that he would never reciprocate her feelings. And she was wrong.

Most of the time, it killed her to think she was wrong…now she was more happy about being wrong than she thought possible.

He held the door open for her, and she walked in. He was so happy. The woman he loved was finally in his home. "Would you like a drink?"

Looking down at the table and seeing the wine glass, she looked back into his eyes. "Wine?"

"Sure."

After pouring them both a glass, he joined her on the couch. They drank silently, both of them nervous.

"Sara?"

"Mm?"

"I’m sorry."

Turning to look at him, she suddenly became very concerned. "For what?"

"For taking so long with this. I should have told you a long time ago how I felt."

"Why didn’t you?"

"I was scared." Looking into her questioning eyes, he went on. "I was in love once before. I even told her that I loved her. She told me that I was a great guy, but…"

"But, what?"

"I don’t know…I quit listening. I got to the ‘but…’ and I stood up to get my things. It was my apartment, but I was packing. I was so heart-broken. It turned out that although she cared for me, she couldn’t handle my chosen profession. And she sure as hell couldn’t handle the bugs. I had a ring for her. I was going to ask her that night to marry me. I’m glad I didn’t get that far into the conversation before she dropped the bomb…" His voice began to trail off.

Caressing his face, she tilted his head up until he was looking her directly in the eyes.

"Her loss…my gain" She leaned over to kiss him.

"Sara…wait."

"But…"

"No…wait. Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for. I’ll wait for you as long as I need to, this isn’t about sex to me."

"Do you know what I need?"

"What?"

"For you to just shut up and at least kiss me."

"Sara…."

"Grissom…shut up."

"I need you, Sara."

It was true. He did need her…more than either one of them truly realized. It was just odd for Sara to hear Grissom admit to "needing" anything or anyone.

She gently pushed him back until he was lying on the couch. Climbing on top of him, she began unbuttoning his shirt…exposing his skin to her touch. She looked up at him. His crystal blue eyes slowly clouding with love for this woman. He smiled at her as he began working on the buttons of her blouse.

She read into his eyes…his soul…she knew he could see her heart filling with unconditional love for him…and she could see the same in his. He pulled her down for a passionate kiss. They had all night together…just the two of them. God, how he loved her.

Thinking his hearing had gone out again, he opened his eyes and looked at her questioningly. She read his question and answered with a smile…

"I need you too, Gil."

~ End

Return to Index