Title: Coming to a Crossroads
Author: IrishDachsie
Pairing: Grissom/Sara
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The author does not own CSI. No profit is being made from
this story
“Count backwards from one hundred for me,
okay?”
Grissom nodded slowly.
“One
hundred…ninety-nine…ninety-eight…ninety…seven…ninety…uh…ninety…”
His eyes closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where the hell am I?
Unsuccessfully, Grissom tried to place his
surroundings.
“Hey there…”
He turned quickly to see a man of about his
own age approaching him. “Hello…”
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
Grissom studied the man’s face carefully
before shaking his head. “No…I’m sorry, I don’t.”
“Doesn’t surprise me…it’s been years…Anthony
Caldwell.”
Grissom looked around quickly as the light
began to darken. A haze rolled in around him. His eyes turned back to the man
standing in front of him. “Anthony Caldwell has been dead for fifteen years.”
The man smiled. “It’s not too late, you know…”
He turned and walked back in the direction from
which he came. Leaving Grissom standing in the middle of a
road in the middle of nowhere…alone.
Where the hell am I?
Not too late? Not too late for what? And…they
must have given me some serious drugs before they let me leave the hospital.
Now I’m seeing dead people. ‘I see dead people’…what was that boy’s
name…Cole…yeah…Cole. That was a good movie.
Maybe I should just go for a walk. Or maybe I
should just go home and lay down for a while. My head hurts. I wonder if it’s
because of the surgery or if I’m getting a migraine. Where am I anyway?
He continued to walk down the road. Something
was telling him he was going in the right direction. He wasn’t sure what.
But…he trusted his instincts. He read the street signs as he passed them.
He shivered slightly against an unfelt breeze
and walked on. He noticed that there were no cars, no people…nothing. Just him.
He absently kicked a rock out of his path as he came to the next road.
Gallery Street. I really should go see Mom.
She’ll be so happy that I’ve had the surgery. But…then she’ll just start
bugging me about settling down…having kids…the family thing. I love her, I do.
And…I know she loves me. But…I don’t think she really understands.
Besides…there’s only one woman I’d consider and…nevermind…keep
walking, Gil…
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and
bit his lip. He read the next sign as he was coming to it and began to laugh as
he crossed the street, not pausing to check for oncoming traffic any longer.
After he made his way across, he glanced back at the sign. Surely, I read
that incorrectly. After seeing that he had indeed read it correctly the
first time, his laughter grew quickly as he continued on his journey.
If I were the type of man to steal signs, I’d
have to steal that one and take it to Catherine. Because…she just wouldn’t
believe me. She won’t believe me when I tell her.
His laughter died suddenly as he reached the
next road. Heatherly Way. A smile of
fondness appeared as he slowly shuffled across the pavement.
Heather…she was so misunderstood. Even by me.
She listened to me. She actually understood me. And…then I hurt her. ‘Apologies
are only words’…maybe one day she’ll forgive me and we can talk again. Of
course, the entire department thinks there was much more to that than there
was. I wonder if she thinks that I slept with Heather…I could have. It would’ve
been easy enough. Not that Heather is a whore or anything. But…she was
attracted to me. And, yeah…I was attracted to her. But…how can I sleep with her
when my mind is wrapped up in…someone else? Maybe I should give Heather a call
when I get home. Just to talk, to truly apologize to her. Nothing more. She
deserves that. She’ll probably hang up on me…but…at least I should try.
His eyes followed the cracks of the sidewalk
as he walked along. He stopped suddenly and tilted his head. What’s that?
He bent down and picked up the object and smiled. Nickel. 1902. He probably
already has one and this one is probably worthless…there’s a small nick on the
edge. But. Then again. Maybe he’ll like it. He’s one strange boy. But, damn
he’s a hard worker. Maybe I really should think more about getting him out into
the field. He seems to really want it…to taste it. But…who’ll run the lab then?
I’ve really gotten used to having Greg in the lab…I’ll give it some
thought…but, for now I’ll take this nickel to him. Maybe he’ll realize that I
actually don’t hate him…and he’ll quit being so damn nervous around me…
He chuckled to himself as he dropped the coin
into his pocket. He glanced up towards the sky and smiled. Sun’s coming back
out. Hey…look there…Wall Street. His smile widened. Most people would
probably think about stocks when they see Wall Street. Me? Pink Floyd.
Hello? Is anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone
home?
Come on, now. I hear you’re feeling down.
Well, I can ease your pain.
Get you on your feet again.
Relax. I need some information first.
Just the basic facts, can you show me where it
hurts?
Yeah. That’s me…comfortably numb. I’ve been
comfortably numb for months…I know what would help…I know where it hurts…but,
I’m Gil Grissom. He sighed
heavily as the song continued in his head along with his thoughts. What the
hell is that supposed to mean? ‘I’m Gil Grissom’. I do have feelings…I just
don’t show them as much as everyone else does. Or, as much as everyone wants me
to show mine. That’s just not how I work. But…she…she understands me. Yet, I
push her away. Why do I do that?
He hesitated briefly at the next street. Coaster
Street. Maybe I’ll go down there on the way back…right now’s not the time. I
really wish I knew where I’m going. This is just…insane. I’m walking around
this ‘town’…if that’s what you want to call it…and…I have no clue as to where I
am or where I’m going. Roller coasters and bugs…yeah…that’s my life. Am I
boring or what? I mean, I like it…but people just don’t understand me. People
never really will I guess. Now that I think about it…Heather didn’t really
understand me either. If she did then she would’ve realized that I didn’t…you
know what? I’m not going to call her when I get home.
There is one person who understands me. Who
has always understood me. And…what do I do? I hurt her…over and over and over
again. Why? Well, the only answer I can come up with is the fact that I’m an
idiot.
He didn’t realize he had come to the next
street. He didn’t realize that his feet had made the turn. He didn’t realize
what the name of the road was. He simply continued walking.
I know I need to make things right with her. I
really do. But…every time I try I just fuck it up that much more. I can’t
really just come out and say “Hey, guess what? I love you.”
Suddenly his feet stopped moving and he looked
back over his shoulder at the street signs. His heart thumped wildly in his
chest as he stared at the intersection. When did I turn? He looked
around him quickly before focusing his eyes back on the signs, fully expecting
the names of the streets to be different this time. But, they weren’t. He had
definitely made the turn at the intersection of Grissom Boulevard and Sidle
Avenue.
He took a deep breath and willed his feet to
move. They obeyed. He found his pace quickening at an alarming rate. Hell,
if I’m not careful I’m going to end up back in the hospital with a heart
attack.
Rounding the corner, he found himself in a
cul-de-sac. He walked slowly towards a young woman sitting on the curb, a
cigarette between her fingers. Her dark eyes met his bright blue irises.
“Took you long enough…”
He exhaled slowly. “Am I…am I too late?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Catherine watched him closely as he fought the
drugs in his system. Leaning down, she softly whispered in his ear. “Grissom?
Grissom, can you hear me?”
His head moved away from her. His eyes clamped
tightly shut. His mouth opened and one word was softly uttered. “Sara…”
Catherine smiled and made her way to the door,
motioning to the young brunette.
“What is it, Catherine? Is he okay?”
“He’s calling for you…be there when he wakes
up…”
Sara walked to the side of his bed and resisted
the urge to run her fingers through his slightly damp curls. She watched him
carefully as his eyes slowly began to open.
“Hey there…”
His eyes focused on her and a small smile
appeared. He licked his lips gently, a question forming in his eyes.
“What is it, Griss?”
He inhaled deeply and released the breath as
slowly as he possibly could to calm his nerves. “Too late?”
She smiled and gave into that urge to allow
his curls to wrap around her fingers. “Since when has Gil Grissom ever been too
late for anything?”
He returned her smile and felt his eyes begin
to close. This time, there were no hallucinations. Only dreams. Dreams that,
with Sara by his side, he could turn into reality.
~ End